hi. this is the latest email doing the rounds in melbourne. hope you like it.

"i came up with a theory that involves the book of genesis (fig leaves) buddha (sitting under the bodhi fig tgree) jesus (many sayings about figs) ross hornes' book (new health revolution) and science (figs are the most important source of food for fruit eating rainforest animals). i then experimented on the figs by eating mainly dried figs (same brand) for over 8 years now and found cycles which i related to the numbers in psgs 11/12 of the book of revelations. this theory has gone everywhere. so far i have had eliminations at days 504, 840, 1176, 1512, 18484, 2184, 2520 and 2856. today is day 2972. i have definitely found something. i am not lying. what i have discovered has gone around the world and many songs have been written about it....the foo fighters' last 3 albums.....coldplays' last 3 albums....."vertigo" by U2 (my first name is phil). an elimination is a day when you experience strong flu-like symptoms and feel terrible. bad stuff is washed out of your body. my ears are now ringing with a continuous high-pitched tone and i dont know what this means. in australia, ross hornes' books have been removed from the libraries and the bookshops. can anyone tell me what i have found?"

so there it is. hope you enjoyed it. it may seem far-fetched but i have it on good authority that it is all true. regards from mount waverley melbourne.